Life Interrupted

Are you aware how often relationships fail as a result of life being interrupted by chronic illness or disability? Recently I learned that 75 percent of marriages where one of the partners suffers from multiple sclerosis (MS) ends in divorce. Fifteen years ago my response would have been, come on, no way. Fifteen years ago I had already lived with MS for fifteen years. Yes, there were some difficult and uncertain times, but for the most part if you didn't know me well, you would have been unaware of my disability. After having had the disease for fifteen years, I felt the rate of progression was so slow that my lifestyle would be restricted but relatively normal.

I was married for the first time in 1992, after having been diagnosed with MS twelve years earlier. you can read all about that time of my life right up until 2008 in my book, Life Interrupted, It's Not All About Me. The book which I have written to help others managing with chronic illness within their family deal more positively with the resulting stress put on the relationship as a result of one's life being interrupted by chronic illness or disability. I have written this book to help others avoid making the same relationship destroying mistakes that I once made. At one time, not long ago I wasn't sure if. there was a need for a book such as mine untill I received confirmation time and time again.

I can remember, in 2006 having just completed writing my book, about to set out to find a publisher, but not really feeling confident with what I had written. After all, I had never written a book before__I was not a writer. I was a nutraceutical chemist with a degree in ecology. At that point I turned to prayer, asking God to show me what to do__ to provide direction. My first bit of confirmation came in the most unsuspected manner. About a week later, I was relaxing watching television around 8:00 PM when I was interrupted by a telemarketer. After listening to her spiel I thought.... O'kay now she's going to hear mine. I began telling her about my book, turns out that she has colitis and her relationship wss suffering because her husband refuses to recognize her disability or to make simple adjustments to accommodate the issues had by his wife. Beverly, the telemarketer, began by telling me that she had explained to her husband time and time again her need to sit next to or at the very least within close proximity to a restroom when they took their two young boys to a sporting event, the park a barbecue or whenever. We were on the phone for more than an hour and she wanted to buy my book. Confirmation or coincidence?

I received my second confirmation, again in 2006. At that time I was in the planning stages of a course that I was going to be facilitating at my church. The course, Life Interrupted, became a reality in December 2006. At that time I was informed by employees of the church, heads of the various ministries, pastors and the Caring Coordinator for whom I was volunteering at that time, that the turnout would likely be small, likely two to four participants. A flier was placed in the church bulletin 3 Sundays in a row leading up to the Wednesday evening class. Turned out to be a freezing cold night, but 25 people came out to hear my story and learn how they could better deal with the stress put on the relationship as a result of life being interrupted by a chronic illness or disability. It is a real problem that is just beginning to draw the attention of the medical community. I don't think anyone ever recognized the prevalence and enormity of this issue. Do you agree or disagree?

I have facilitated discussions and held book signings at hospitals, MS clinics, numerous support groups for a multitude of chronic conditions and I've seen the tears. I knew those tears all too well. To think, at one time back in 2001 when my wife was leaving me and I felt like I was being abandoned by my caregiver, I thought I was going to be alone for ever. How was I ever going to meet someone? Who would want to meet me, damaged goods. I thought I was likely headed for a nursing home. Yes, I was living a nightmare and I could not imagine a pleasant ending. God is in control and he has a plan.

I held a book signing at a Barnes & Noble in Framingham MA from 7 until 8:30 PM on an unusually cold and wet evening and the audience was phenomenal, Every seat was filled. Management had to bring out to more rows of seating and more people appeared. It was standing room only as far as I could see. The discussions and questions from people were tremendous. I was approached by a couple that had a daughter who was afflicted with MS, there was a woman who lost her husband after a decades-long battle with the disease and her 48-year-old brother was just diagnosed. For a while the scenarios seemed endless. The best part of the night was seeing so many individuals that had entered the store quietly with almost somber and solemn looks on their faces earlier in evening were now laughing, talking and now leaving my event with smiles on their faces. Confirmation? I am pretty sure I have all the confirmation I need.  There's  no doubt in my mind that God wanted me to write this book to help others. Writing a book, sitting in a chair at a desk, writing for hours, these are just a few of the tasks that I know are physically impossible for me, yet a published books since before me now.  I know it was the work of God and I'm proud to have been the vessel through which His work was done.  What do you think?

Be well and God bless,

Chris